A tale of brains, traits, and lizard drama.
Let’s talk emotional safety. While diving into murky psychological waters, I came across some fascinating stuff. Hear me out.
Our survival instincts live in the amygdala—aka the reptilian brain, aka the drama queen of your nervous system. This part of the brain has one job: 𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦. Before you can say, "Is that a threat?" your amygdala has already sized it up and hit the panic button if it thinks you’re in danger.
Now here’s the trick: the amygdala doesn’t care if the threat is physical (𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶) or emotional (𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 "𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵"). Danger is danger. So if it feels unsafe, its sole mission is to scream, "ABORT MISSION!" and shove you back into the cozy softness of safety.
Alright, now let’s crack some terms. The Big Five personality traits:
1. Openness – You’re the “I have a brilliant idea!” type.
2. Conscientiousness – Schedules are life. Chaos is death.
3. Extraversion – Chatting up strangers? Easy peasy.
4. Agreeableness – Empathy is your everything.
5. Neuroticism – What if the worst happens?
Now, before I go any further, here is a little disclaimer: all of this is based on my take from stuff I read, but it’s not a hard-and-fast scientific truth (at least not all of it). Take it as food for thought (or maybe just a distraction).
Some experts argue these traits are pretty fixed. Others say they shift with age and life’s earthquakes. I think you can tweak things, sure, but don’t expect a total personality U-turn. (I have my personal experience to back up my thinking).
Now, back to the reptilian brain. Let’s imagine Mike. Mike is shy, loves order, and worries—a lot. Mike gets hit with an unexpected: his son has an accident, and now Mike’s world is chaos. His schedules? Gone. His worries? Skyrocketing. Meanwhile, his amygdala is on high alert, sounding alarms like a crazy driver.
Or let’s say Mike decides to “level up” at work. He’s tasked with organizing and moderating big conferences. His introversion? Screaming. His need for order? Out the window. His worries? Through the roof. Result? Mike’s lizard brain spends most of its time in freak-out mode.
Here’s the thing: we’re often told to push out of our comfort zones. Be bold! Be brave! Achieve greatness! And yeah, that’s fine… in theory. But if your amygdala is constantly panicking, how much energy do you really have left to 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 achieve anything?
Moral of the story? Before you start leaping into discomfort for self-growth or career glory, make sure your inner lizard feels safe. Because let’s face it: it doesn’t care about certificates of bravery or glowing LinkedIn recommendations. It just wants to know you’re 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘦.
So, be bold—but also be smart. Protect your emotional safety first, and then expand that zone. Trust me, your lizard brain will thank you.